“Just as you are.”

There’s a pivotal line in the film Bridget Jones’s Diary where Mark Darcy says to our fair Bridget “I like you very much. Just as you are.” And women everyone sighed, for it is that simple line that I think we all want to hear at some point in our lives. It’s the single most important aspect of being loved by someone that we hope to achieve. Or at least that’s my opinion on it. I know it’s my number one quality I seek in a man – the man who will like me just as I am.

Girlfriends and I were talking about this the other day, and we all agreed. How challenging is it in this world to find that one person for whom nothing about you needs to be changed, the person who takes you just as you are, flaws and all. It’s the root of the unconditional love so many of us seek.

I look to my dogs as the finest example of unconditional love you can find. No matter what, my boys are there for me each night and are there each morning as I wake. I can scold them for doing something bad the night before and by morning, all is forgiven and they offer affection without the expectation of anything but appreciation in return. Every so often I wonder, why can’t people do the same?

Instead, we look to change people to fit our needs, to fit our wants, to fit this image we’ve conjured in our head. It sounds so easy to let go of all that and just accept who we love as the person we love. I’ve tried doing that, and in some cases, it’s hard. It’s hard to look past those characteristics that make you question why on earth you even care about this person at all. Yet when you stop to think about it, you can find all the reasons you love someone have very little to do with these things about them you’d like to change.

Or so is the case with me I’ve found. Unfortunately, I’ve not yet found that person who can return that love unconditionally, without want of some change in me – be it physical appearance, personality or some other aspect of someone’s daily habit or character, whatever it might be. So as we approach another Valentine’s Day, a holiday dedicated to sharing our love for one another, I ask these questions: Is love ever really unconditional? Can we ever say to someone “I like you very much. Just as you are.”? And shouldn’t we at least try? I'd like to think I do.